Share of thoughts

I created this blog to share my life with you. In this blog, I hope to give motivation to you and take encouragement from you.

"Jiayou" is originated from Chinese, meaning to refill petrol in the machine so it works. Whenever we feel tired or disappointed, if people said this word to you. You will feel "energy being refill within you".


Wednesday, 25 May 2016

May 2016 1st Cycle

Today I have a severe pain despite having my stomach wrapping with tourmaline wrap and laying down on the tourmaline bed. I am puzzled why the pain is so uncontrollable that I cannot perform my usual activities. Till I recall something. I ate crabs yesterday. I forbade myself from having cooling food and beverage like tea, oranges or anything that is cold. I forgot about seafood is considered cooling and enjoyed this delicacy so much. I earned myself this miserable moment.

So my advice is not to take cooling stuff before or during your menses, it will be "chaos'. Especially the yummy crabs.

I have menses pain, meaning my baby planning failed again. I gonna jiayou and be motivated.

Thursday, 5 May 2016

April 2016 9th Cycle

Time flies, its time to check ovulation tomorrow. It is like a routine task to do every month. I shall not try to think of hope so I would not have disappointment. Just like nature takes its course. Pointless to exert stress to myself as this is not something that you can achieve by wisdom or hardworking. The only happy moments daily is to love my hubby and be loved by him. See whether I can strike "lottery" this month : ). Jiayou!

Thursday, 28 April 2016

April 2016 2nd Cycle

My menses came yesterday, three days in advance. I was shocked coz normally it came pretty punctually around 27th of my cycle. I wondered was that due to the tourmaline wrap and the mineon mattress I am currently using now. These products were said to improve blood and qi circulation. I supposed to have numbness in my left leg before the day of my first menses so I would be pretty assured that my menses would come the next day. But I did not have the symptom so I was shocked that it came yesterday evening without warning, luckily I always use pad to play safe. This month I did not strike the "lottery". So I will have my red bean recipe later. Those who are still TTC like me, keep trying. Jiayou and be motivated, believing the little angel will come to us one day.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

April 2016 23th cycle

My nausea had totally gone but the cramps are still haunting me. Though I have mild pain, thanks to tourmaline. But its existence really irritates me. My hubby recently bought a mattress imported from Japan said to improve Qi circulation called Mineon Jewell. Its a mattress, I have totally no idea why it is called jewell. Perhaps it is a gem. I have mild pain but after I lay on bed, the pain is gone. Amazing! But once I get out of bed, the pain comes back again. The mattress is an amazing product which cost over $3k. It said that it is made of the hot spring ores from the radium hot spring in Japan which was believed to have negative ions that promotes health benefits. My hubby could feel the tingling feeling when he placed his palms on the mattress, I couldnt. Perhaps the skin of my palms is more thicker than his. Other than that the mattress is said to consist more tourmaline to generate negative ions and infrared radiation as well as Biochotan Charcoal that can absorb body odor. We shall see whether it can also bring us some good news. There are three to four more days to go to "welcome" my monthly visitor who comes without fail. Good luck to me and you. Jiayou and be motivated.

Friday, 22 April 2016

April 2016 18th cycle

My abdominal cramps started. Luckily with tourmaline wrap, the pain was bearable. I felt nausea these two days. With these cramps, i doubt its good news. Furthermore i would prefer surprise than assumption. Assumption would disappoint me always. So i rather refer concrete proof. After numerous devastrating experience of disappointment again and again, i should play safe and just let nature takes its course. Dun test until u notice she is late which all of us always hope. Those who are in the same route as me, lets jiayou coz u are not alone. We sure make it one day.

Monday, 18 April 2016

April 2016 14th day cycle

Last Friday, I went to my cousin's daughter first year birthday. There were so many kids and babies around. When I saw so many couples with baby, I got so envy. There was one cutie boy crawling towards my direction. I was so fascinated and carried him. My hubby was also excited during that moment. I did not bear to return him to his parents but I knew I had to. Do you know what the little cutie did when I handled him back to his mom. He grabbed my shirt and did not want to release it. I felt a loss that moment. My cousin complained that he was exhausted. It was a route to being through if you are parents, unless you have helpers to take care of the baby. Otherwise you will not be able to rest sufficiently. I asked my hubby whether he is prepared to take up the challenge, he nodded his head and said just to wait for chance. A chance to become parents.'] I will still carry my life and of course get ample rest before the cutie comes. I will jiayou and hope you are. Be motivated.

Friday, 8 April 2016

Menses ended - today is the fifth day of my cycle

The disappointment of not conceiving subsided. I regained to my cheerful self. Having my speciality red beans soup almost every day, thus wrapping my tourmaline waist wrap everyday, motivate me to have a fresh start on trying for baby. Can't wait on the tenth day to test ovulation, its like gamble. Gamble 50-50 percent to see whether we strike lottery, only that we have to rely on ovulation kit to determine when is the right time to bet. My hubby has gambled his millions of sperms every month and we await to hit the "jackpot" ie to meet the egg. As i mentioned in my previous blog, im going to try self IUI home.

We mustn't lose hope in winning if we keep "betting" every month on the right time.

Those who are trying, dun give up. You are not alone. Jiayou be motivated.

Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Menses came yesterday

The guest who i really hope she did not come, came yesterday - Aunt Flo, the menses. Well our Baby making was not successful the month. Kinda disappointed but kinda relieved that the cramps was manageable. I was out for the full day, despite staying at home to fight with the cramps. Thanks to the tourmaline waist wrap, Im able to lead a normal life. I have been told longans helped to keep the womb warm so Im going to add in my secret fertility dessert that i shared in my previous blog. No harm trying coz I was been told my womb was a "cold palace". Lols. I intend to try IUI at home this round. Hopefully i will be able to succeed this round and share my experience with you.

 Those who are still trying like my case, please dun lose hope. We sure have the little ones one day if we kept trying. Jiayou be motivated: )

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Tourmaline has solved my stomach cramps!

My previous blog mentioned I have a bad abdominal cramps as my menses is about to due. I happened to go for an event where the staff claimed that they were just advertising their product. They introduced this Tourmaline waist band. It is an elastic cotton band that can cover the whole waist. They claimed they had added Tourmaline powder with the fiber. They said the Tourmaline would ease the pain due to menses pain, backache. Furthermore it could increase Metabolism and ultra-infrared red to promote the health of the organs located in the stomach.
So I bought one. My abdominal pain was excruciating and simply wear it. Due to endometriosis and having fibroid growth, my usual pain should be increasingly pain day by day till my second day of my menses. To my surprise, the pain subsided a little and today the pain was mild comparing to two days ago. Tourmaline seem to taking effect. You may research this wonderful gem, I have researched some websites and they are said to be increasing fertility. If you are interested to the one I had bought at S$470, feel free to let me know. I will provide that company contact no. for your inquiry. I have checked with them they do not have website and intending to open a branch in Singapore. Their base company is in Japan Osaka. This is all I know about.

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Having abdominal cramp, period tentatively 5 Apr

My abdomen cramps badly even though my period should only begin on 5 Apr. A week left and I already knew the result. I am suffering from endometriosis and fibroid growth in my womb. Therefore my "before menses effect" is extremely painful. I know for sure i am not pregnant now. Of course I am disappointing. But i have never give up. I will continue the red bean soup as mentioned in my earlier blog and feed my hubby with American ginseng. I gonna jiayou and be motivated with hope.

Friday, 18 March 2016

H. Pylori may affect my fertility!!

A month ago, my hubby and I did the blood tests and both were diagnosed with high level of this irritated bacteria called Helicobacter pylori, in short called H. pylori). They are spiral-shaped organism that infect us, human' stomach. Well we were told by the doctor that either me or my hubby is the carrier, because we share foods these creatures just travel through our saliva to our bodies. They can lead to stomach ulcers and moreover to stomach cancer eventually. We have to eliminate them before they "kill" us. Our little ones are still awaiting for us and we cannot afford to let these creatures entering their little bodies.

So we did researches, most people tried Manuka Honey and Mastic gums.We decided to try Manuka Honey first and take our blood test in three months to six months time.

Manuka Honey UMF15 onwards
Mastic Gums

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Herb for my man

My sister in law happened to buy American Ginseng ( Panax quinquefolius) for us. Because I was told by some old folks before this herb is too cooling for women, especially if we wanted to conceive. Its important to keep the womb warm. We ended up didn't touch it at all till one day my hubby found it a waste to leave it spoil. I began to research on this herb. To my surprise, it is a men's tonic. One of the benefits is to promote sperm health. I'm going to let him have in for our baby planning and we shall see whether we strike a goal this month.

For those who is still trying. Jiayou! Be motivated. The little ones will sure come : )
American Ginseng

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Unsuccessful IUI twice

From January till February this year, we went for IUI at NUH. We failed to concieve after trying twice. Disappointing, my menses came yesterday and gave me a extremely painful day. My legs went numbness and cramps torturing me at night too. I ever thought of applying for jobs but thinking my state of pains, will my company be kind enough to offer me two to three days of medical leave per months? Nope. Family members around us kept asking whether we have good news. I have to hold back my saddess and tell them we are still trying.

Fertility doc has not concerns on my suspected endometriosis and given green light to proceed on IUI since we wanted to try. We decided not to go for next IUI in March and let the nature takes its course. We had tried our best. If we destined to have baby, we will have one day. He or she choose the timing as was not ripe yet. He or she will come, we are definite. I will still use with ovulation strips and keep trying. One day we will strike the "lottery". I would like to share one tip to increase endometrium lining. My lining was 9mm in my scan of first IUI and i tried researched recipe every alternate day. Guess what, i had my lining increased to 10.8mm!

You may try. Its a delicious dessert. All you need are as follows.

1/4 cup of raw Red beans
1 cube of black sugar
3 red dates(to cut into half and remove the seed)
2 1/2 cups of plain water. 

Preparation is easy, just dump everything in the pot and boil till the red beans are soft and edible. This recipe warms the womb. Have it if you have time before your the first day of your period till before your ovulation. Do leave your comment if it works or you too.

Those who are trying too. Don't lose hope, you re not alone. Believe he or she will be coming one day.

Disclaimer: Please do your own researches on those ingredients to ensure you do not have allergies to them before trying it.

Thursday, 3 March 2016

A man in my life

Other than my younger sister, he is the person who mostly share my sorrows than my happiness. He did not give up on me even though we are childless till now. I should have met him earlier but fate had only brought us together three years back. Thinking back, I could be still immature then. I am grateful that I had found him.

I am indeed a lady of flaws, he is a man with perfectionism.
I slack with my loose fats, he loves to exercise in an extreme manner.
I get panicky easily over small matters, he analyses how he can resolve the matter
I complete 80% work considering done, he ensures he complete to 100%.
I have a short term memory, he has close to perfect memory
I did not bother of appearance, he is very concerned to neat and presentation

The above differences between both of us has made us fit into an average ONE, merging the good and bad points. Getting together is much easier than living together. When we were dating, we just enjoy the moments together of cuddling, kissing and sweet talks, after then we went back to our homes. Living together, we do the same too, except that we spend most time together. We have not start quarrel yet..(touchwood, please do not let it happen)...both of us understand yelling each other won't solve anything. Only resulted more severe damage with blunt words and harsh movements.

Finding each other is not easy. We have our big wedding photo hanged facing our bed so every morning the first thing we wake up. We see our happy faces. We kiss every morning and night without fails. We cuddle and sweet talks to each other. He is such a gentle man and a handsome man in my eyes. I like to see him sleeping like a toddler and touch his face in the morning.

I appreciate his existence, so is he.

I love him, my sweet hubby. I love to have you in my rest of my life.

Lets all jiayou in maintaining our relationship, be it you are married or not. As long we love correctly, happiness will surround us always.

Friday, 26 February 2016

You will find someone in life one day

I used to tell everyone that I did not want to get married. My hubby who was trying to find his future wife but he still couldn't find her. We both joined the same event.

It was fate that brought us together. He used to pray at the temple that was about a street away from my residence about seven times a week, we did not met. Our first event organised by dating agency, we were exercising, he was just behind me! But we did not see each other. During the dinner, he was just sitting the next table beside me! We didn't see each other. Only the second follow up event, we exchanged the contact details but we did not click. He was aiming for someone in mind when he met at the event but she didn't come. I came for the follow up event because I wanted to look for a girl whom I forgot to provide my contact to her.

Our aims were different, hence we did not click.

I shall attach a video done by him to show to our guests during our wedding banquet. He did everything from the scratch to the wonderful memory for me; from planning (getting the auspicious date, sourcing the wedding venue and bridal shop and all necessary preparations that required time and money) to the end of the wedding banquet. He was a sweet person that did not want to upset my job as he knew I was devoted to it and would be pretty stressed up with additional work to do. In short, he just did not want to tire me..keke. He just wanted me to show up as a beautiful bride.

I am really grateful to him for spending the time and money to give the sweet memory to me.

I did not expect to get married but I got married instead. I just wanted to let you know to enjoy the process without stress. All thanks to my hubby who was looking for me and melted my heart to follow him all my life. Next time I shall share with you how to maintain relationship even though you are married.

You may be wondering why you cannot find your ideal partner even though you have already lowered your expectation of him or her. Nope! He or she could be a foreigner that you need to reach out to overseas or the person is just within your area that you could miss it. Join dating website to be friend first before committing to a relationship, you need to understand a person well and not rushing into a relationship, not to flirt around just for fun. Also you must be prepared to get into it and don't sadden he or she when you run away due to your unpreparedness.

Jiayou, be motivated to find someone you are finding. Good luck and I really wish you can find someone in your life. Do comment my post if you find one and share with me your experience.

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Current state of me, still has not BFP (Big fat pink on pregnancy kit)

Well,...hmmm...I am a housewife, working as a housefly. Only thing I dun do is to getting fed on "free food" and lay germs on them..lols. Houseflies always greedily or I should put in a nice words...take initiative to be the food taster first or eat without paying a single cent. My mother-in-law always warns me to cover the food whenever we are not consuming it coz a third party will dirt the food. Why I classify housewife as housefly? I tell you a joke. When I was filling up a lucky draw application and suddenly a sales promoter came to chat with me. She asked what was my occupation. A slip of tougue, I answered, "I'm a housefly". She was dumbfounded and gave me a strange stare. After I finished my writing, I looked up at her and immediately corrected my mistake by saying, "Oh, I think I have said something wrongly, did I?. I am a housewife...haha.". It was so embarrassing, I quickly dashed out of the supermarket with bags of groceries. Also, housewife has one thing in common with housefly was that we always at home.

I am looking in a bright side, everyday was adventure to me. My adrenaline may fluctuate coz I always scared myself. When I step out of the house about 1km, I will try to think, do I lock the door? do I switch off the cooker?. I will hasten my shopping trip like a race runner. Life is full of excitement for me. I will never feel bored.

My mission now is to get pregnant.

I gonna jia you. Same to you

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Funny moments in my school life (Fried carrot cake)

I actually unsure whether am I a creative person..lols...but I tend to do alot of unexpected creative thimgs to surprise others.

In my secondary school, i used to attend home economics lesson to learn how to cook. We were group in team of two. My partner was a virtuous girl who always helped her mum in cooking. I had no problem obtaining marks when team with her. She was a fast worker and she could not tolerate my  slow and clumsy action. I was "appointed" as food taster instead, to quality check (QC) on the end product. The teacher was very impressed on our yummy food.

There was one day, she was on medical leave. I was forced to team up with another girl who was same as me, clueless on cooking. The lesson was to fry carrot cake, I initiated to do the cooking and she did the preparation of ingredients. The first step was to steam the carrot cake. Secondly, fried onions till it was golden brown. I thought it should be very simple coz I was not colour blind, i sure know how golden brown looked like. So i poured oil, put garlic, the colour became light brown and guessed what? turned black. I was shocked. But we were running out of time, i just put the steamed carrot cake in and started to add soya sauce and Tada! The end result was out.

We were the last batch to serve our unique carrot cake to the "Empress Dowager", our Home Economic Teacher. "Wow...i didnt guide you to add dark sauce, u were so creative", she praised us. We were clueless what she meant. When she ate the first bite and her expression was.....i could visualise my good record had gone down to the drain. She was fuming but well...the lecture was a gentle and soft one. She was a petite and quite a good tempered person, my carrot cake seem like a bomb landed on her that instant, she managed to regain her usual self shortly.

I was asked to team with that girl in my subsequent class...omg...luckily i only had two last classes that last semester...whats a relief.

I should have tried my best to learn the cooking skill then so i wont get to eat so much instant noodles. Nevertheless i still want encourage you if u are learning cooking. Jiayou!

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Funny moments in my personal life (Glue stick and lip balm)

I am quite a short-cut person, meaning I would find ways to shorten the processes of doing something. Of course, there would be loop hole of doing such cut-cut method if I was not careful which I was in fact quite a careless person.

My lips were dry and chapped so I bought a lip gloss to moisturize it. It kinda of cumbersome to take in and out from my bag at work so I placed it on my table. My desk was full of stationary and I coincidentally placed my lip gloss beside the glue stick, both were put in a standing upright position. I had set timer on my phone to remind me to apply lip gloss stick every two hours since the start of my work. I was too focused on my work and just grabbed one of the sticks to apply on my lips. In between I drank water and these went on till late afternoon when I had mostly finished my work. I took one stick and applied my lips and to my astonishment!. It was glue stick. I went straight to the toilet to wash my mouth.

Frankly speaking, I didn't know how many times I had applied glue stick on my lips or I was luckily enough to spot it when I only used the first time. I am still safe and sound now..haha...the answer could be the latter.

At work, I still prefer to streamline processes by cutting unnecessary works to do, like giving who and who to check and verify. The problem is will the supervisors really check if they have tons of works to check. I tried to use system to proof check first then followed by only one supervisor to verify. Come on, if we pay so many supervisors to check one transaction, why bother to do that transaction if it worth even lesser than 0.001% of their salaries, plus good system would track more accurately as they do not bother how much work they are given. I got pretty stressed up and affected my results if I saw tons of manual works on my table awaiting to be completed in a day. Emotions affects the performance.
It's only Wednesday, dun rush through the day as if it was Friday. Do it slowly and steady to obtain the accuracy of the work done. Jia you!

Thursday, 14 January 2016

Funny moments in my personal life (Learning cooking from my mother in law)

i did mot know how to cook in my early thirties because i was banned from touching the stove by my mum. She was a control freak, kitchen was like a secret chamber for her. Whenever she was cooking, i was not allowed to enter the kitchen, as if I wanted to steal her secret recipe. I ever succeeded in cooking instant noodles at home when she was not around, I cleaned the area I had touched but she knew i had used her stove. She only banned me, my two sisters could use freely and watched her when she cooked. Hmmm..u must be wondering why she was so biased? Well i thought there was only one instance, i boiled water. Coz the kettle would give a beeping sound when the water had boiled, i just did the household chores usual.  Then I remembered i needed to buy stamps from post office and immediately rushed out, forgotten the boiling water. I took only less than ten mins and heard a sharp noise coming from the house when i was outside the doorstep. I recalled the water and rushed to switch off the stove. Luckily the water had not been dried up. Cause of my slip of tougue, my mum got the news of it. Thats my fate of not able to touch stove.

My cooking skill was imparted from my mother in law who only used soya sauce, salt and pepper andshe could easily whipped a tasty dish. My hubby always said the secret lies on the freshest ingredients used that brought out the sweetness and fragrances.  I got to learn from use chopper! Knife! And peeler. I was scared coz they looked dangerous to me. I could easily cut my hand sometimes using scissors or staple. I knew this time i would sure "bleed".

I was been instructed to chop vegetables...i chopped, and chopped and chopped...suddenly the chopper landed on the floor. My mother in law of course had gotten a shock. I was pretty used of this blunder so i gave a relief my feet were intact...lols...watching me using can be as exciting as watching Jackie Chan's movie.

Now i use chopper almost every day, practice makes perfect. My mother in law praised me once for chopping fine gingers strips. Of course, i still experience cuts. I should be thankful i still able to count up to ten using my fingers...haha. I should say watching me preparing foods was like watching a Jackie Chan's movie. It was so exciting.

I had overcome one obstacle and hope u will one day. Jiayou!

Sunday, 10 January 2016

Funny moments in my personal life ("full stop ehh")

i admitted my analytical abililty is...hmmm...range one to ten. I got perhaps three..lols

I remembered one day opening up my laptop and typed document in words application. I was so fast in typing and I managed to finish it in fifteen minutes for a three full length pages report. But it took me one hour more to check and submit to my boss. Kinda inefficient ehh?..yep i agreed.

After I finished typing the report, i began to check the accuracy of my document. There was a "full-stop" that was not supposed to there, was in between my sentence. So I clicked on the area where that "full stop" was and pressed "delete" on my keyboard. Well., that irritating "full stop" was still there, I reinstated by clicking the undo button. No matter how I copy the texts to the new worksheet, thats "full stop" was still there. This time it was at another sentence! I really freaked off when my boss kept calling my phone line. I knew she was chasing me on this document. I couldnt email erroneous documents to her.

Finally close to one hour, the mystery unveiled. My laptop screen was stained with a small little black particle that really looked like "full-stop". How i realised it? Lols..i was so angry that i pointed at the screen and said to it "why I cannot remove u!" ...well the "full stop" moved to my amazement. I stared the screen and used my fingernail to scratch off it. And the little particle stuck in my fingernail. ..i emailed the document to my boss. Luckily she didnt ask why i took so long. I wont know how to describe the silly act i did.

Im jiayou in trying to "boasting" my analytical ability but thinking logical and illogical ways. I surely will motivate myself to make my life more interesting.

Monday, 4 January 2016

Sad Christmas and New Year 2015

Time flies, Christmas and New Year 2015 were over. That was the season i loved the most every year but oso the sad season I shall deemed this year. My dad had passed away the day after Christmas this year 2015.

He was very stern to me that really made me felt like I was not his biological daughter in the past, seeing the unfair treatment he did to me among my other two sisters. I was not blogging very much in December 2015 coz my dad was admitted to the hospital and I wanted to accompany him. This was not the first time my dad got admitted in the hospital but this time it was the last time he got discharged. He used to be sober and complain alot upon his discharge but this time he was motionless and cold. He was no longer complain and nag anymore...i used to find him a pain when he complained about money and others...his impatient facial expression became a memory to me...

he changed his attitude towards me when i brought him to visits in hospital, he bought lunch for me and even offered me his share of fish cutlet. I was very happy to his change. He would listen rather than argued to me like in the past. He really a changed person. He was diagnosed with liver cancer and got admitted to get the tumour removed via laparoscopy. His surgery was informed to us that its successful with both laparoscopy and open surgery! He was losing blood and required substantial blood transfusion. Nevertheless we knew he got to go for another operation on the next day due to his tendered tummy when he got a heart attack. He was on sedation and hardly woke up till one day he was out of sedation and managed to talk but unclear. His heartbeat shot up to 200 and doctors suspected infections in his body. Cause doctors said my dad's kidneys Were not functioning well they unable to do MRI, they recommended mild 72hr kidney dialysis. After then my dad was given medicine to protect the kidneys and he was sent for MRI. I was told by the doc, his liver was growing a bit but still not functioning normally. Stale blood was found and two tubing was inserted to dispel the stale blood. Other than these tubing he already had two more from his first surgery. Antibiotics was given to him and his condition was stabilised and out of sedation. He got transferred from SICU to high dependency ward. Amazingly, my dad could speak, i should say...complain. I was annoyed and happy that my dad was well. He complained to remove his urine catheter out so he could pee, he had a urge of peeing. We informed the doc and the urology but they said its common. After a few days, his body started to bloat. His water retention due to his kidneys-not functioning well. He went for a four hours dialysis but unsuccessful due to low blood pressure. He was sent back to SICU on Christmas day morning. He was sleepy but still knew what happening around him. On the next day, my sister got a call saying doc informed us to prepare for the worst. We were with him before his last breath...its was painful.

I will Jiayou in my life, i still have my loved ones to tale care of. I will be good.